ICE ICE (YOUR EGGS) BABY
Egg freezing is like “No Problems” -- that killerrr tune you first heard in ((305)) that’s now all of a sudden blowin’ up. Everyone’s talkin’ about it -- your besties, your crazy aunt, and maybe even your mom. The Mindy Project got behind it a few seasons ago and now even the Bachelor franchise has spawned a fertility clinic.
So the big question: should you freeze 'em? Or stick with what yo mama gave you and skip the hefty price tag?
If you’re gonna do it, sooner is def better. Sad to say, but -- like our high kicks and crazy-fast metabolism -- our eggs are higher quality when we're younger. That biological clock is a real thang.
But check yerself before you wreck yerself and sprint to the nearest clinic. A LOT of researchers -- ya know, those smart people in white lab coats -- seem to think that there’s not a huge benefit to freezing your eggs in your 20s. Many experts seem to think the best way to maximize bang for your buck with freezing is 30 to 34. TG.
If you’re a junkie in that (24 karat) magic age range or a little past it, there's a few other things to think about. One is obvi cost: this sht can run you $10,000 to $15,000. That’s a whole lotta $$$. Some employers cover it, but lots of insurance plans don't. You’ll also have to think about how to store those bad boys, which can rack up thousands more in fees. Then, when you're (FINALLY) ready to use 'em, that procedure will run you at least $3,500, if not more.
The procedure itself is also a whole situation. Basically a doctor is helping your body produce more eggs than you need, taking 'em out, keeping 'em frozen, and then thawing them when you want 'em. This is not your basic a$$ jumping jack -- this is a grapevine into a high kick into a some sick a$$ hip hop choreo. On uppers.
For the most part, though, it's pretty chill -- it's the same kind of process as IVF. There's hormone shots to stimulate egg production and a procedure requiring mild anesthesia to actually retrieve the eggs, but it's not super risky. Ditto when you wanna put 'em back in.
Another huuuge thing to consider are your odds. The chances you'll get a baby from a single egg is just 2 to 12 percent (not super great) which is why docs will tell you to freeze a whole carton or two worth. Those chances are part of what decreases after you get older, too.
Probs the biggest thing to think about, though? Whether or not you actually want kids! All the hassle and trouble probably isn't worth it if you're just hoping you don't wake up one day wanting rugrats.
HOT MAMAS GET THAT ((305))!
Moms, c'mon now! It's time to get that ((305)), babe. We all deserve some time for self-care.
Remember (!!) exercise produces endorphins. And endorphins make you happy. And happy people don’t kill their partners in their sleep.
Sign up for a class here.