FEMINISTS WEAR LIPSTICK, TOO

Junkies, you know this: there are a whole damn lot of rules about how to be a woman. Some of them are the kind of bullsh*t you get in a society dominated by the patriarchy for waaaay to long. But some of them we place on ourselves -- and it's time we all recognize that and cut it out.

That's why we're crushin' SO. DAMN. HARD. on the latest advice from The Cut -- their kicka$$ columnist Heather Havrilesky killed it with her answer to a woman who spent too much time stressing about how she looked. Heather didn't slam this babe for her concerns -- she made the point that we all have to stop beating ourselves up for caring (or NOT caring) about our looks.

"There’s so much built-in shame that comes with just being a woman with a body who has to put clothes on that body and leave the house," she writes. "Our culture demands that women make an effort to look good, and then it demeans us for doing so. We’re either slobs or we’re high-maintenance girly girls. We are letting it all go as we age or we’re sad cougars chasing our youth. But there are a million and one good reasons to try and not to try, and none of them are simple."

"We have to operate within the confines of our poisonous culture, and make choices that challenge the status quo but also feel right to us personally. Condemning yourself for every impure choice is just another way of reinforcing the anti-woman shame you already have onboard."

So ladiez, stop beating yourself up for being a #badfeminist if you choose that saucy AF red 💄 or flaunt what yo mama gave ya in yer ((305)) crop top. And don't beat yourself up for staying in your yoga pants and not giving a sh*t about the state of your hair. You are SLAYING every day, in work, in class and just walking down the damn street. Get up and get it, kweens.

Read the whole article here, and check out the other quotes we're printing out and taping to our mirrors:

"I hate it when people give women a hard time for caring about whatever the fuck they happen to care about, or politicize stupid shit like bikini waxes. … But we can’t all be pure and rise up like glorious gray-haired saints of pure, true feminism, armed with only the big issues and the radical feminist texts, and with none of the goddamn lip pencils and slogan T-shirts and strong cocktails and other signifiers of the high-capitalist urban sellout."

"I would rather be someone who isn’t bothered by such stupid things. But you know what? I’m not. I care about how I look and I always have. I was that kid. I was that teenager. And my parents told me it made me shallow. I knew that I was shallow. I tried to be less shallow. It didn’t work. … You know the only thing that worked, the only thing that made me less shallow? Deciding to be a tiny bit vain for a change. ... By paying a tiny bit of focused, calm, non-stressful attention to my looks, I freed myself from thinking about my looks so much."

"It makes sense to examine what you really want, and to separate your prejudices about what it means to be 'vain' from the picture, and to interrogate your worldview about why 'pretty' magically makes you worthy and full of promise while 'not pretty' somehow makes you worthless and doomed."

Want more? Check out Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist or Caitlin Moran's How to be a Woman. And our HBIC Sadie's got a whole rundown of other books to add to your Amazon shopping cart, pronto.