Whether you're a first-time-dancer or a five-times-per-week-regular, you know that ((305)) is all about making sweat sexy. We can't help it. Everything we touch turns to (twerk) gold. When it comes to the carnal and holy act of BANGING...we're pretty sexy there too. So it only makes sense that we want to keep consent sexy.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, and we're going to get pretty real for a minute here. Every 98 seconds, another American is sexually assaulted. That's more than 300,000 people a year. The math on this sucks. Chances are, you know someone who is a survivor (or might be one yourself).
So let's talk a little ed-you-cation. We know that consent is important. We also know that it involves complicated state-by-state, case-by-case laws. We also know it can be...awkward. SAY NO MORE. We're here to help.
How to Make Consent Sexy
1. Give your boo encouragement. Look. Trying new things in the nude can be scary. Trying new things in the nude without someone's consent is illegal. Take the guesswork out and add some seduction back in by checking in with your partner to make sure they're comfortable (and enjoying) your new moves.
"Does it feel good when I touch you right there?"
"How does it feel with my tongue in your ear?"
"Hey baby, is this okay? You feeling good right now?"
2. Ask ahed of time (aka sext it up). "Yes means yes" is an effective way of teaching consent, but it can sound more like the board room than the bedroom. Solution? Make those conversations part of the foreplay. Whether you're chatting it up over drinks, over sexts, or Snapchat DMs, tell us what you want, what you really really want (and what you don't want).
3. Use your body. Physical cues are not foolproof. The surest way to give and ensure you have consent is to be up front about it. That said, they can be a pretty damn good indicator that someone is into your moves—or NOT digging them at all.
A short, incomplete list of things that are not consensual:
- Having sex with someone who is unconscious or sleeping
- Having sex with someone who is too drunk/high/incapacitated to consent (check your state laws)
- Ignoring "no"
- Assuming because you didn't hear "no" that it means "yes"
- Having sex with someone who isn't old enough to consent, (check your state laws)
- Coercing or threatening someone to have sex with you
- Assuming that because you had sex once means you can have sex again
- Assuming that consent for one activity means consent for another activity (ex: assuming that having consent to make out means you have consent to finger bang)
- Using physical force to have sex with someone against their will.
Learn more about consent from RAINN, the organization behind the National Sexual Assault Hotline.
If you have been affected by sexual assault....
You are not alone. There is help available. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential, and 24/7 by phone (800.656.HOPE) and online.